Drassi Tewing/Quotes

Quotes

Quotes[edit | edit source]

Volume 4[edit | edit source]

(To Shush & Selys) The crazy one? I mean—the one with the hamburgers?”
(To Lyonette) “Are you the [Thief] that got kicked out of the city? I was going to watch, but I was working and Selys said it wasn’t that exciting. And that’s the scary Gnoll kid right? Hi! I’m Drassi, a Level 8 [Barmaid]. Well, I was also working as a [Receptionist], but I like waiting tables more since you have to sit in one place as a [Receptionist].”
To Lyonette:
- “Don’t bother with monsters. Let’s just push them down the outhouse hole and put the lid down.”
- “Don’t mind a thing. I had to help out once I saw those fleshbags lazing about. Not you, them, I mean. I don’t know why Erin hired them.”
(To Lyonette) “I want to help. You should stay with Mrsha, you really should. Ishkr’s…not feeling well. I don’t think he’ll be in. But I’m sure I can handle whatever’s needed myself!”
To Erin:
- “Erin, I can’t. I can’t even—I don’t know how you can have them here! Here! At least have Bird come downstairs with his bow! We should be calling the Watch, or, or—I can’t do it.”
- “Honestly, Erin, I don’t know if I can. I—it’s not that I don’t like you or trust you, but having monsters under this roof—”
(To Pisces) “I know the history of the Second Antinium War you jerk!”

Volume 5[edit | edit source]

(To Erin) “…No I won’t. Okay, yes I will. Darn, I can’t lie. How did you know that?”

Volume 7[edit | edit source]

(To Kevin) “The same thing Humans do, I suppose. Are you flirting? Because I’m on duty and I’m probably going to be too tired afterwards. Late night shift on nights like these.”
(To Relz and Noass) “Oh. Ancestors. Are you—how are you here? Dead gods! Sir Relz and Noass! I love your show!”
(To Pallass soccer team) “Penalty! Hey Pallass! Learn to control the ball! Yeah, you heard me! Want me to get Ekirra to show you how to kick? He’s 7!”
(To Erin) “Erin, I know everyone. Yeah. Ishkr’s sister is two years younger. She’s uh…difficult.”
Worldwide to Sir Relz (& Noass):
- “Do healing crystals protect you from the disease? Sir Relz? Yes or no.”
- “Let’s stick to the facts, Sir Relz. Just the facts, please. It’s a yes-or-no question.”
- “Please, Sir Relz. We need to know the truth! People are dying in port-cities. Those crystals don’t work! We need to do more than just slap a crystal on the problem and say it’s done!”
(To Wilovan) “That’s right! No autographs. Especially not to him.”
(To viewers) “Yeah. This rat-king kidnaps the [King] of Jecrass’ daughter. And now Raelt is in hot pursuit.”
(To viewers & Noass) “What? That’s what I think. What kind of monster kidnaps a daughter? The question is: can they get her?”
To viewers:
- “I’d just like to address the audience now. Firstly—I’d like to apologize to Medain and the [High King] Perric and you viewers out there. I used inappropriate language in the heat of the moment. Upon reflection…”
- “…Upon reflection, my phrasing and…and conduct was unprofessional. I apologize for that. I should have said ‘that rat bastard is kidnapping a [Princess], not rat-king’.”
(To Todi) “Erin’s busy. I’ve never heard of your team, sir. Look—we get Gold-ranks all the time in here. That’s not exactly special.”
(To Saliss) “Saliss! Saliss—excuse me, Drassi, [Reporter] coming through. Please don’t kill me.”
(To Noass) “—sorry, Noass. Felt like someone was walking on my tail for a second there. Weird.”

Volume 8[edit | edit source]

(To Ishkr) “Now this is news. Tell me everything.”
(To Sir Relz and audience) “What about loyalty? That double-dealing—this just in: I’m going to kick Joseph’s butt! Excuse me! I’m going to cover this one in person.”
(To Joseph) “What? Give me that—Joseph! Get back here! This is Drassi on the streets of Pallass! How many bones do you break if you get kicked down the staircase? We’ll find out now!”
(To viewers) “Wow. So someone in Wistram is a pervert.”
(To Sir Relz and Noass) “What if it was a naked male Drake! Gah! You’re disgusting! Noass, get in here! I’m leaving!”
(To Sir Relz and Wistram) “Shut up, Relz. I…hey. Get me in touch with Wistram. There’s something you need to show. Here—here’s coordinates I guess. Just do it. Why? Because I’m your [Reporter].”
(To Sir Relz and audience) “The Wandering Inn. Yes. Celum, if you want to be more accurate, but he was there. So was I. This…viewer…is calling in from Terandria. They made it all the way there, or so I gather. A guest of the inn. A personal friend.”
(To viewers) “It’s…a Ser Solstice. Although he gave me a different name. He—the name’s secret. But he—he likes eating rabbits. There’s your hint.”
(To viewers and Rabbiteater) “The thing is…Ancestors, I don’t know how to say it. I thought everyone knew. Erin—she helped bring baseball here. She’s—was—the [Innkeeper] of Liscor. Famous in Liscor. Pallass too, if you don’t know. I’m sorry. It’s just. She’s…”
(To viewers) “Pay. Attention! This is an emergency broadcast from Wistram regarding Terandria! I don’t care if you’re not on Terandria or you don’t care—my friend is down there, so listen up! The Order of Seasons of Pheislant is about to intercept an Ailendamus army!”
(To viewers and Noass) “But if it is, I’m calling it a war crime. Like [Poison Cloud] spells in Ailendamus, Noass. If they’re doing it, it’s not ‘seems like war crimes’, it is. This is Drassi. Possible war crimes from Nerrhavia’s Fallen if the Djinni attack. How’s that for news?”
Worldwide to Yisame:
- “Your Majesty, are you saying that you have no control over your subjects in Nerrhavia’s Fallen if members of your aristocracy can simply try to murder other people with Djinni? Let me be clear: Flos Reimarch may have an army, but the Djinni were sent on Cinaelu, your holiday, during an agreed-upon ceasefire when he wasn’t even near his army! This sounds like an assassination, and it sounds like you’re only ‘questioning’ Emira Sulaake? Her Djinni are shouting what they’re doing! It’s not very unclear to me.”
- “But a Djinni’s not an arrow. Am I understanding you that you won’t be calling them back? Then, even if it was started by one of your subjects, this appears to be a state-sanctioned war crime. What would you like to say to that, Queen Yisame? Queen Yisame, hello?”
(Worldwide to a Nerrhavia's [General]) “Where did Queen Yisame go? Technical difficulties? Wistram assures me we have a spotless connection. You dropped your end. War crimes, General. Fine then, let’s talk about war crimes. Will Nerrhavia be assassinating any other enemies with Djinni? How are we to believe you won’t if you break the rules whenever you see fit?”
(To Selys) “I don’t know! Put up fliers! Ask around in the cities! Just don’t go off tracking! You know what I’m doing? I’m going to put out an announcement on Wistram News Network! Gnoll girl kidnapped!”
(To viewers) “Do you believe a Human can fly?”
(To viewers and Sir Relz) “You don’t know? Then I get to commentate! Out, out! [Commentators] only get to talk if they know anything! I’m Drassi, [Reporter], and I say that Human is going fast!”

Volume 9[edit | edit source]

(To viewers) “Oh, that does look good. Now, what can we get to eat? I see a Goblin making omelets, and yes—that’s weird, even around here. Can a Goblin make a good omelet? Your [Reporter] is going to find out.”